Somerville Divorce Lawyers: Advice for Divorcing Parents—From Children of Divorce

Divorce is painful for everyone involved, but it’s particularly difficult for minor children. It wasn’t their decision, they feel like they have no input in the process, and their lives seem irreparably changed. Though most parents of divorce work hard to minimize the impact on their children, here are some bits of advice that children of divorce can pass on, ways to help them cope with the changes:

  • Don’t discuss disagreements about me (visitation, support, etc.) when I am present. It makes me feel like it’s my fault.
  • Don’t disappear (especially if you are the non-custodial parent)—When I don’t hear from you, I wonder if you love me or if I am important in your life. Call me, text me and e-mail me. Oh, and you may have to initiate a lot of the conversations—I am not very skilled at that yet.
  • I love both of you and it’s not a competition. I won’t think you’re a better parent if you give me more stuff and take me more places. And I won’t think more of you if you try to make me think less of my other parent.
  • Don’t use me as a messenger for anything. If there’s something you need to say to my other parent, say it directly to them.
  • You are a part of me and I am a part of you. Just because I spend more time with my other parent doesn’t mean I don’t learn from you, and that I won’t carry some part of you with me for the rest of my life.

Contact Somerville Divorce Lawyers at Law Office of Lyons & Associates

At the law office of Lyons & Associates, we represent men and women throughout New Jersey who have unresolved family law matters. We place a premium on personalized service and attention. For a private consultation, contact us by e-mail or call our office at 908-575-9777.