For many divorcing couples, the goal of reaching an amicable settlement loosely translates to everyone getting out without suffering serious emotional harm. If you were lucky enough to have an amicable divorce, you may have still been able to see, hear about, or talk to your ex without too much angst. Now, thanks to Hollywood couples like Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin, conscious uncoupling makes an amicable divorce in New Jersey seem trivial.
The goal of a divorce employing the conscious uncoupling technique is not only to minimize the stress and trauma associated with the process, but to end the marital union with your family intact. Love, friendship, and family are at its focus with an emphasis on dissolving the marriage but not the love and friendship that a couple once shared. In the case of Paltrow and Martin, their divorce has been so successful that many are looking into the technique.
The Five Steps of Conscious Uncoupling
The first step of conscious uncoupling is probably the hardest for most people because it requires you to identify and acknowledge the feelings you are experiencing. In doing so, you become aware of the specific issues that are most challenging, and can then focus on how to overcome them. The second step is to de-victimize your divorce by reclaiming your own personal power over your life. In this second phase, you can begin dealing with the feelings you identified in step one that will help you reclaim your independence.
The third step requires you to break free from the patterns of your life so that you can begin to move on and grow. The patterns of how we have dealt with disappointment, rejection, fear, and even love do not have to be constantly repeated. Breaking the negative patterns and allowing yourself to experience new feelings and reactions will help you heal emotionally.
The fourth and fifth steps of conscious uncoupling can be the most freeing and satisfying. In the fourth step, you learn to let go of the promises and expectations you have for your ex-spouse. By doing this, new expectations emerge that allow you to see your ex as a friend without the demands associated with being a husband or a wife. The final step in the process is where you create your happily ever after. With anger and resentment gone, you can now enjoy the friendship shared with the person you still love as family. This also allows others to accept and respond to your new relationship positively.
Not everyone has the advantages of a Hollywood lifestyle, but anyone can work through a divorce in New Jersey with a goal of maintaining a healthy relationship. When successful, conscious uncoupling allows children to retain their sense of security, enjoy their parents sharing the milestones of their lives together, and families to continue to share their traditions and loving relationships that were established during the marriage. Your divorce will not be as public as those in Hollywood, but your results can be equally as peaceful and rewarding.
Woodbridge Divorce Lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. Help Clients through all Phases of Divorce in New Jersey
If you or someone you know is considering a divorce in New Jersey, at Lyons & Associates, P.C. we can help you through the process with the least amount of stress possible. Our team of Woodbridge divorce lawyers is committed to protecting your legal rights and reaching an amicable settlement in the shortest time possible.
Call us at 908-575-9777, or contact us online to schedule a consultation today. Our offices are conveniently located in Somerville, New Jersey and we proudly serve clients throughout the state.