For many divorcing couples, informing others about their decision to end their marriage can be one of the most stressful and painful parts of divorcing. Couples may want to avoid the shock or judgment they fear will result from the news.
The following suggestions can help divorcing individuals with the process of telling families and friends about filing for divorce.
Make the Children the Priority
It is important for children to hear the news of a divorce directly from their parents, and not second-hand from another family member or friend. Throughout the entire divorce process, the best interest of the children should remain a priority.
Allowing the children to hear the news first can go a long way in building trust during this emotional time. Sitting down together as a family to announce the divorce can reassure the children that the end of the marriage does not mean the end of the family. The children may have many questions and feel anxiety about their future. Working together to explain the situation can help alleviate many of their concerns.
Children rarely need to know all the specific details of their parents’ divorce. Keep in mind the age and maturity level of the children while discussing the reasons behind the divorce. Too much information about the flaws in the marriage or its financial impact on the family’s lifestyle can cause unnecessary guilt, fear, or anxiety in many children.
Anticipate Unexpected Reactions
When telling family and friends about an upcoming divorce, be prepared for unexpected reactions. Many people will be unsure of the best response in this situation and may unintentionally react with inappropriate or hurtful comments. Some insensitive comments are likely to be made, but take all words of advice with a healthy grain of salt.
It will be important to develop a strong support system during this difficult time. Reach out to those family members and friends who can support you through this time of change.
In cases where family members had good relationships with in-laws, there may be mixed emotions. When a divorce occurs, extended family may feel forced to sever all ties with an in-law. This can cause unexpected pain and sadness for the extended family. Try not to demand extended family members act a certain way towards an ex-spouse.
Keep Some Details Private
While it may be necessary to disclose the divorce to more than just family and close friends, it is often unnecessary and counterproductive to provide too many details about the divorce. As part of respecting an ex-partner’s privacy and to maintain a good relationship going forward, especially when children are involved, it is important to respect the privacy of all parties.
Some of the details of the divorce that should generally remain private include those relating to financial settlements, infidelities, and intimate or sordid marriage details.
While informing an employer may be necessary due to changes in tax status, avoid feeling pressured into revealing any information about the divorce which you would like to remain private.
Morristown Divorce Lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. Handle Divorce Matters throughout New Jersey
If you have made the decision to separate or file for divorce, the experienced Morristown divorce lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. are here to help. Our lawyers handle a wide range of family law matters including those related to divorce, spousal support, child custody and visitation. To schedule a free initial consultation, call us at 908-575-9777 or submit an online inquiry form. From our Somerville, New Jersey office we serve clients throughout New Jersey, including Somerset, Woodbridge, Morristown, Parsippany, Rockaway, Short Hills, Chatham, Randolph, Madison, and Morris Plains.