Ending your marriage or domestic partnership is complex. Every family has different needs, and each state has its own set of regulations guiding divorce proceedings. If you’re thinking about ending your marriage in New Jersey, consider hiring a divorce attorney to mediate the process. The lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. will represent your rights and can help you reach a more amicable solution through uncoupling.
What is Uncoupling?
Conscious uncoupling is a term first used by psychotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, referring to the amicable ending of a relationship. In conscious uncoupling, the partners focus on ending their relationship through a respectful, loving process that leaves them at peace and with closure.
Woodward Thomas advises couples to turn their emotional pain and distress into an agent of positive change and make breakthroughs in other areas of their lives. It protects your family from the negative aspects of divorce as you end your relationship with your partner.
How Does Conscious Uncoupling Work?
There are five important steps you and your partner need to go through during your conscious uncoupling.
Recognize and Manage Your Emotions
Learn how to identify your emotions instead of letting them control you. It’s normal to feel anger, bitterness, and resentment during your divorce. Acknowledge the emotions you are experiencing and see how they impact your life. Learn to be more mindful of your feelings and the words and actions you use. Try to approach situations and each other with more compassion.
Honor Your Past and Look Toward the Future
While you shouldn’t dwell on the past, it’s important to understand the past actions that led to your current situation. Take accountability for the role you played and learn from your mistakes. Make a conscious effort not to repeat the same choices in your future.
Break Old Patterns
A therapist helps you examine your relationship history and identify behavioral patterns. It’s important to self-reflect and understand how you contributed positively and negatively to your past relationships. Identify behaviors and actions you can change to improve your future relationships.
Set Clear Boundaries
Work with your ex-partner to set boundaries and expectations for the next phase of your relationship. Setting clear boundaries prevents misunderstandings and conflict from arising. It helps you define roles in your relationship and treat each other with more kindness.
Move Forward With Your Life
The last step in conscious uncoupling is developing new relationships with friends and romantic interests. It involves learning how to co-parent your children while you or your ex-partner are involved in other relationships. It’s also about supporting the other person, and their goals as both grow into your new and separate lives.
Is Uncoupling Right for Me?
Anyone who wants to end their relationship with respect and the ability to maintain a positive, constructive relationship with their ex is a great candidate for conscious uncoupling. It’s not an easy process, but if you and your partner are committed to doing the work, you’ll be building a better future for yourself and your children. Uncoupling is a great way to have a more amicable divorce.
How Our Firm Can Help You Consciously Uncouple
Consciously uncoupling from your partner still requires you to file legal documents to dissolve your marriage or domestic partnership. You’ll still need to come to agreements about spousal support and the custody of your children.
Residents in New Jersey should consider a family law firm like Lyons & Associates, P.C. for their divorce or uncoupling needs. Our team of divorce lawyers can help you through a more amicable separation or divorce. Contact our law firm today for a consultation.