How to Set Boundaries in Divorce?

Going through a divorce can be a challenging and disruptive process that can disrupt your life, even after all the papers have been signed and the divorce has been finalized. The process may become particularly difficult to navigate if you and your former spouse do not establish clear boundaries. This can make it easier for both of you to move forward, help your children adjust to the divorce, and avoid ongoing conflict.

What Are the Different Types of Boundaries That May Need to Be Set?

Every divorce is unique, and couples may need to prioritize certain boundaries over others based on the circumstances of the divorce. The following are examples of boundaries that you may need to establish in order to make the divorce process go as smoothly as possible:nPhysical Boundaries: This allows you to create space between you and your former spouse. Whether you continue to live together while you navigate the divorce process or one of you moves out, it is important that you put some physical distance between the two of you. If you do need to remain in the home together for financial reasons, it is highly recommended that you sleep in separate rooms and put distance between the two of you when possible. This should be a top priority if your spouse has been physically abusive over the course of your marriage.nEmotional Boundaries: Once you have made the difficult decision to get a divorce, establishing emotional boundaries is crucial to protecting your mental health. This can help you manage your emotions and prevent discussions from becoming heated. There are several strategies for establishing emotional boundaries, including limiting conversations between you and your spouse that could cause emotional distress or only discussing the divorce at certain agreed-upon times. A therapist or counselor can help you establish and maintain these boundaries.

How Do I Discuss Boundaries with My Spouse?

Unless your divorce is amicable, any communication with your spouse may be fraught with anger, resentment, and stress. Initiating a conversation about boundaries may seem like a daunting task. The following tips can help you broach the topic and have a productive conversation:nChoose a neutral location where you feel comfortable and safe. Do not have a conversation about setting boundaries if one or both of you are tired, stressed, upset, or distracted.nPrepare for the conversation by thinking about the boundaries you want to establish and how to do it. Consider writing your thoughts down or creating an outline of the points you would like to communicate.nBe clear about the boundaries you want to establish and provide specific examples, if possible. This can help avoid misunderstandings.nBe an active listener during your conversation, and make an effort to understand your spouse’s thoughts about certain boundaries. Be willing to make compromises if necessary.

What if My Former Spouse Violates the Boundary?

Ideally, you will both agree to the recommended boundaries and avoid any future conflicts. However, if your ex does violate a boundary, there are steps you can take, including the following:nReiterate the boundaries you both agreed to.nEstablish consequences for violating a boundary.nSeek support from experts like a family counselor or a divorce lawyer.

The Role of Temporary Support in New Jersey Divorce Cases

Temporary Support (Pendente Lite) in divorce

Divorce is a challenging and emotional journey that can disrupt nearly every aspect of life, especially when it comes to financial stability. At Lyons & Associates, we understand the importance of maintaining a sense of normalcy during this difficult time. Temporary support, also known as pendente lite support, plays a critical role in helping individuals and families navigate the financial uncertainties of divorce. In this article, we’ll explore the purpose of temporary support, its different forms, and how to request it in New Jersey divorce cases.

What is Temporary Support (Pendente Lite)?

Pendente lite is a Latin term meaning “pending litigation.” Temporary support orders are intended to provide financial assistance to spouses and children during the divorce process. These orders are designed to preserve the standard of living established during the marriage to the extent possible until a final divorce settlement is reached.

Temporary support typically includes:

Temporary Spousal Support: Assisting a lower-earning or non-earning spouse with meeting their financial needs during the divorce process.
Temporary Child Support: Ensuring that children’s essential needs, such as housing, food, clothing, and education, are met.

The Purpose of Temporary Support

We recognize that the financial dynamics of a household often shift dramatically during a divorce. Temporary support ensures fairness and stability by:

Protecting the well-being of children by maintaining their living conditions.
Providing financial security for a dependent spouse while they transition to post-divorce life.
Addressing immediate financial concerns so both parties can focus on resolving the larger issues of their divorce.

The ultimate goal is to reduce the financial strain that often accompanies divorce proceedings, allowing families to adjust to their new realities with greater ease.

Factors Considered in Temporary Support Decisions

Courts in New Jersey consider a variety of factors when determining temporary support, including:

The financial needs and obligations of each party.
The standard of living established during the marriage.
The income, assets, and earning capacity of both spouses.
Child custody arrangements and the specific needs of the children.
Existing agreements, such as prenuptial or postnuptial contracts.

Our team works diligently to present a compelling case on your behalf, ensuring that your financial needs and rights are fully represented.

How to Request Temporary Support in New Jersey

If you need temporary support, the process begins by filing a motion for pendente lite relief. Here’s how it works:

File a Motion: Submit a motion with the family court, explaining your financial needs and providing supporting documentation, such as pay stubs, tax returns, and bank statements.
Complete a Case Information Statement (CIS): This detailed financial disclosure form outlines your income, expenses, assets, and debts. It is a critical component of your motion for temporary support.
Provide a Certification: A sworn statement that describes your financial circumstances and explains why temporary support is necessary.
Attend the Hearing: The court will schedule a hearing where both parties can present evidence and arguments. The judge will then issue a temporary support order based on the information provided.

Challenges in Temporary Support Cases

Temporary support cases can be complex, particularly if there are disputes over income, expenses, or the standard of living. Common challenges include:

Disagreements Over Financial Information: Courts may require additional evidence or expert testimony to resolve discrepancies.
Changes in Circumstances: If financial situations change significantly, such as a job loss or medical emergency, a modification of the temporary support order may be necessary.
Enforcement Issues: If a party fails to comply with a support order, the court can enforce the order through measures like wage garnishment.

Why Choose Lyons & Associates?

Navigating the complexities of temporary support requires skill, experience, and compassion. At Lyons & Associates, we pride ourselves on providing personalized attention to every client. Our team of experienced family law attorneys has clerked in New Jersey courts and understands the nuances of state laws and procedures. With a background in social work and a commitment to advocacy, we bring a unique perspective to every case, ensuring your voice is heard and your needs are met.

Building a Foundation for Long-Term Stability

Temporary support is just one piece of the puzzle. While it addresses immediate financial concerns, it is crucial to have a long-term strategy that aligns with your goals. Our team will work with you to develop a comprehensive approach, addressing spousal and child support, property division, and other critical issues.

Need Help Addressing Temporary Support During the Divorce Process?

Divorce can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone. Temporary support can provide the stability you need to move forward. Our experienced and highly specialized divorce attorneys are here to guide you through every step of the process with compassion and expertise. Contact us today for a confidential consultation.

Category: Divorce, Family Law