Things to Look Forward to Post-Divorce

Divorce is a significant life change that can leave you feeling as though your life has been turned upside down. You may feel various emotions once the dust has settled and your divorce is finalized. While your future may seem uncertain once your divorce is issued, you may be pleasantly surprised to discover there are experiences and opportunities to look forward to after a divorce. The following are examples of things you have to look forward to if you were recently divorced:

• Time to yourself. Going through a divorce can be extremely hectic and stressful. Once the divorce has been finalized, take advantage of the time you have to yourself, particularly if you have children and are sharing custody with your former spouse. This is a great opportunity to reflect on what went wrong in your marriage, learn more about yourself, and discover the many benefits of solitude, including increased productivity, newfound creativity, and focus on your physical and emotional well-being.
• Social support. You now have the opportunity to focus on rediscovering existing friendships and developing new ones. Plan a vacation, join a book club, or have a weekly dinner date with friends. Spend time with family members who were there for you during your difficult divorce. Fostering these relationships will help you through the difficult moments following your divorce.
• Quality time with your children. Your divorce will impact your children’s lives even under the best circumstances. Too often, children get stuck in the middle of their parents’ constant arguing. As a newly divorced single parent, you have the opportunity to spend quality time with your children without the constant stress and conflict that you all experienced before the divorce. Couples often stay together for the sake of their children, even if the marriage is not working. However, when a divorce is the best decision for the couple, it will positively impact their ability to parent. When both spouses can co-parent effectively, the children will have a healthy and loving relationship with each parent.
• Less conflict and stress in your daily life. While getting a divorce can be a painful and stressful process, once the divorce has been finalized, you may realize that the stress and conflict from the constant bickering have disappeared. Instead, you may notice that your home environment is much calmer, peaceful, and stress-free.
• Opportunity to focus on your goals and interests. If you put your interests or goals on the backburner over the course of your marriage, either because you were raising children or you put your spouse’s goals and interests before your own, you now have the opportunity to prioritize your interests. If you put your career on hold and want to return to the workforce, you can take the steps necessary to make that happen. If you have other goals, including traveling, learning a new language, or training for a marathon, you can focus on what you want out of your life without considering how it will impact your spouse.
• Develop friendships. This can mean reconnecting with friends you have not seen in a while or developing new friendships with people in a similar situation. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who have your best interests at heart is one of the best things you can do, particularly after a divorce.
• Opportunity to start dating. This may be the last thing on your mind if you recently finalized your divorce. However, you may want to dip your toe in the dating pool when the time is right. While it is probably not a good idea to rush into a new relationship, mainly if you have children, you may miss the companionship and intimacy you had when you were married. Take time, focus on what you want and need from a relationship, and do not lower your standards.
• Opportunity to create a more productive relationship with your former spouse. This may not happen overnight, but it is in your best interests to maintain a respectful and productive relationship, particularly if you have children and share custody. This will allow you to co-parent more effectively and help make the transition between homes as smooth as possible.

How Can I Find Closure After My Divorce?

Before settling into life after divorce and looking forward to the opportunities discussed above, it is helpful to find some closure. The following are some tips that can help you get started:

• Seek help. Whether you discuss your struggles with a professional therapist, a family member, or a trusted friend, it is important to discuss what led to your marriage’s breakdown and any particular struggles you are facing.
• Acknowledge your emotions. Once your divorce is final, you may want to bury your feelings and pretend everything is fine. However, if you do not acknowledge your feelings and deal with them healthily and productively, moving on and getting closure will be difficult.
• Shield your children from drama. Never fight with your ex or bad-mouth your former spouse in front of your children. Even if your relationship remains bitter and contentious after the divorce, keeping things as civil as possible is in everyone’s best interest. In addition to protecting your children from the stress and negativity caused by your fighting, this will help you get closure more quickly than if you continue to fight.
• Focus on the positive. After a divorce, it can be easy to dwell on the negative feelings that you may still be experiencing. Focus your energy on the positive aspects of your life, including your children, your friends, supportive family members, and the fact that you can focus on yourself and your interests. Set goals for yourself every day and celebrate even the small victories.
• Get regular exercise. In addition to its physical health benefits, exercise is also good for your mental health. Whether you walk outside for 30 minutes a day, attend regular yoga classes, or train for a marathon, exercise releases mood-boosting endorphins that can improve your state of mind.
• Prepare for some friend fallout. Unfortunately, when a couple divorces, shared friends may take sides with your spouse. This can be hurtful, particularly if your spouse was largely responsible for the breakdown of your marriage. However, it is a common occurrence. Surround yourself with loyal friends and family, and widen your friends circle to include people in a similar situation.

The Morristown Divorce Lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. Help Clients Navigate the Divorce Process

If you and your spouse are going through a divorce, contact the Morristown divorce lawyers at Lyons & Associates, P.C. as soon as possible. We will assist you with every step of the divorce process. To schedule a free, confidential consultation, call us today at 908-575-9777 or contact us online. Located in Somerville, Morristown, and Freehold, New Jersey, we serve clients throughout Somerset, Woodbridge, Morristown, Parsippany, Rockaway, Short Hills, Chatham, Randolph, Madison, Morris Plains, and Monmouth County.

• Category: Divorce